Despite Housing Needs, Many LGBTQ Youth Hopeful at Holiday

Despite the challenges they face, many LGBTQ youth in San Francisco who've struggled with housing are hopeful this holiday season.

They left home for reasons including problems with family, drugs, or other troubles, but some have found new homes through agencies like Larkin Street Youth Services, a local nonprofit that helps youth with housing and other needs.

Matthew Cross, 23, who's gay, has been a Larkin Street client since March. When he came to the city in January, he said, "I jumped around from place to place. I slept outside for a little bit."

"As far as I can see from my experience of being a gay homeless person in San Francisco, it's extremely hard," Cross said. "People don't realize that you're getting judged across the board, from everyone, everywhere."

When Cross slept outside, he'd stay anywhere that was "in the view of the public, with people going by, so I was seen and not in some dark alleyway where I could be mugged or robbed and beaten and killed."

Despite the precautions, he said that after he arrived in the city, he was robbed for his shoes and his cellphone.

At Larkin Street, Cross gets help with housing and job training in customer service and other fields.

"My parents and I have always had a pretty good relationship," he said, but his drug use had caused a strain with his family, who live in the South Bay.

The relationship's improved since Cross moved out. He's addressing his drug use, and he visits his family at least once a month. He's planning to see them around Christmas time.

Being away from his family has made it "almost more enjoyable" to spend time with them now, he said.

"I became numb to the fact of how important [they were] and how much they actually meant to me," Cross said. "Being away from them and not directly having to see them, I now appreciate when I do go see them."

Clients can only stay with Larkin until they're 25. Cross isn't sure about his plans for the future, but he's considering getting into social work and working with foster youth.

"At this point, I'm just glad I have the ability to think of a future," he said. "At one time in my life, I was happy if I could make it to the next day, so the possibility of a future is just amazing."

Tobey Fernandes, 19, who identifies as transgender and asexual, has been in San Francisco since April and is staying with a friend's family as he works on getting into one of Larkin Street's housing programs.

Fernandes left his hometown of Plymouth, Massachusetts after he couldn't find work there - he either lacked experience or employers would only hire family or friends, he said.

This Christmas, Fernandes plans to check in with his family and go to Larkin Street's winter party.

"I'm happy. ... It took me a little bit to get rolling, but I'm starting to get my life on track," said Fernandes, who's looking for part-time work and plans to go to City College of San Francisco to study art and drawing.

Robert Cotton, 24, who's gay, is getting housing and other services from Larkin Street. He said his grandmother, who's "been there for me 100 percent of my life," has been "begging me" to come to her home for Christmas. He visits her frequently, but he's trying to save money, so he plans to stay home and cook.

Cotton, who works in event staffing, recalled a time not long ago when he was couch surfing, staying with different cousins in the East Bay. He said it had been "a real struggle" dealing with the commute to San Francisco for work.

Now, he plans to go back to school and study business communications or another field.

Cotton said every day is a holiday to him.

"I live every day to the fullest," he said. "I have my messed up days, but I'm always a happy person."

Kate Calimquim, program manager of Castro Youth Housing Initiative, one of Larkin Street's transitional living programs, said in response to emailed questions that this fiscal year, the nonprofit had 418 youth in emergency housing, and 289 in transitional and supportive housing.

Of those clients, 30 percent, or about 212, identified as LGBTQ. Calimquim noted this may be an undercount, since some clients "may not feel comfortable disclosing" the information.

Obviously, having a place to stay makes it easier to see some meaning around the holidays.

A man named Michael, 29, sat on the concrete wall at Harvey Milk Plaza in the Castro neighborhood last Friday. Michael, who didn't want his last name published, said he ran away from home when he was 16.

His mother died when he was 8, he said, and "a good part of my dad's sanity died with her." His father has since killed himself.

Michael hasn't been homeless the whole time since he left home, but most recently, he's been living on the street, and the years since he ran away have turned him off to holidays like Christmas.

"I've spent way too many holidays under the bridge alone," he said.

However, Michael said he would celebrate the Winter Solstice December 22.

The plan is to "drink and get high with my friends," he said, and to be "grateful to be breathing."