June 1, 2012
At Home with Neil Patrick, David Burtka - and Oprah
Mark Thompson READ TIME: 3 MIN.
On the Sunday, 3 June episode of "Oprah's Next Chapter," (http://www.oprah.com/nextchapter) " (9-10 p.m. ET/PT) Oprah features the first television interview with Emmy-winning actor Neil Patrick Harris, his fianc� David Burtka, and their 18-month old twins, Harper and Gideon, at their home in the quiet suburbs of Los Angeles.
This modern American family opens their home and private family life, as the couple speaks candidly with Oprah Winfrey about what it was like for them growing up gay, Harris's decision to come out in Hollywood and its impact on his career, and raising children in a household with two fathers.
They share the private struggles in their relationship as Burtka, both a trained chef and actor, says it isn't easy being in a relationship where one person is more famous and successful than the other.
Harris speaks openly about the stress of living in Hollywood and the pressure of knowing the entire world is watching their family to see if they can go the distance.
Winfrey gets a rare and intimate look inside the home life of this very private and loving family.
Click here for a sneak peek of the episode (with embed code): http://www.oprah.com/own-oprahs-next-chapter/First-Look-Neil-Patrick-Harris-David-Burtka-and-Their-Twins-Video
Transcript Excerpts:
Oprah Winfrey speaks with Neil Patrick Harris and fianc� David Burtka about adjusting to parenthood.
Oprah: Was one of you more maternal?
David: That would be me. For sure.
Oprah: Really
Neil: Yeah, I'm the more paternal
Oprah: Yes.
Neil: Yeah I didn't love the first 6-9 months.
Oprah: You didn't'?
Neil: No. And I struggled with it a lot.
Oprah: You did?
Neil: Like in therapy with my own therapist.
Oprah: I'm so happy to hear you admit that because that is my, you know, I have God children and I'm like, 'I'll see them when they're two.'
Neil: Well that's just it when they are little and they are just crying then I didn't know what's wrong, and I try to soothe you and you're still crying and I know that he's more maternal and is much more intuitive with that, so I would pass off and then like, fix the crib, or like, clean the dishes or, I'd do my work. I wouldn't just vanish, but I would try to provide but I didn't feel like I was bonding with them.
Oprah: Oh interesting.
Neil: Which was ok, because I still feel like my strengths will come when it's like, 'Papa, let's build a fort.' And I love forts, let's do that! But I need to know that they want to build a fort.
Oprah: When they can talk!
David: Yeah, when they can communicate.
Neil: Yeah, or tell me what's wrong or have a conversation. I think that that's where my strength's will come and be more in the forefront.
Oprah: Do you want more kids? Or is two enough?
Neil: Oh don't start with this conversation.
Oprah Winfrey has an a-ha moment while speaking with Neil Patrick Harris and fianc� David Burtka about their deep desire to have children.
Oprah: Have you all thought about what you are going to tell Harper and Gideon about having two daddies and not two mommies and the first time they come home and say, whoever their friend is, 'They have a mommy why don't I?'
Neil: Yeah, well, one thing that I am so appreciative of that my parent's did to us, is to talk to us like we were regular people. And didn't talk to use like we were little babies.
Oprah: That's why you always say you do a lot of googoo talk
Neil: We're going to tell them information. I want them to have information. And I think the way that they were brought into this world was very unique and weirdly scientific and the technology involved in it I think is remarkable. But it came because we really, really wanted kids. Like we really had thought it through, financially, emotionally, relationship wise, like we didn't just accidentally get pregnant and decide that now we need to make this work. These kids come into our world with nothing but love...
Oprah: I just had an a-ha moment that almost made me tear up there just a little bit. You know what, I just realized what you were saying. I had an a-ha moment!
Neil: Nice!
Oprah: Because, same-sex couples, in order to have a child, means you really really really gotta do a lot of work to make that happen.
David and Neil: Oh yeah
David: Definitely
Oprah: So if you are a same sex couple that has a child it means that child is so loved and so wanted. You just saying that just went bing bing bing! I never thought of it that way before.
A long-term New Yorker and a member of New York Travel Writers Association, Mark Thompson has also lived in San Francisco, Boston, Provincetown, D.C., Miami Beach and the south of France. The author of the novels WOLFCHILD and MY HAWAIIAN PENTHOUSE, he has a PhD in American Studies and is the recipient of fellowships at MacDowell, Yaddo, and Blue Mountain Center. His work has appeared in numerous publications.
